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Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Adoption Rejection

As you know, we have adopted children with special needs.  When you make a decision like this, you have to do the research.  You have to ask questions.  Just like our fostering experience, if you don't ask, they might not tell.  It should be no surprise when you go to China to adopt your child.  We have been prepared for all our adoptions.  I don't think there have been many surprises.  If there were, it did not change our minds.

Angie was telling me of a family that went to China to adopt a child.  Once there, they saw the child and found out her needs.  At that point, they rejected the child.  Why?  If they had done the research, their needs should not be much of a surprise.  My guess is they saw her picture and cursory information and then agreed to adopt her.  They did not understand the needs of the child and did not fully vet the information they were given.  Some disorders explain that other issues might exist or arise if present.  At that point, you ask about the additional issues.

The problem with the rejection is that the orphanages may decide to take the child off the adoption list.  At that point, they will remain in an orphanage until they are old enough to leave.  This is sad.  It seems that someones vanity is getting in the way of a special child finding a forever family.  I will go on the record to say this, if you consider adopting a special needs child, it is going to be work.  They are going to have medical needs that need to be attended to.  Some may not have needs that can be corrected.  If you give them love and attention, they will give the same back to you.  In the end, it should be a rewarding experience.  If you cannot handle the extra attention they might need, don't consider a special needs child.  It is not fair for them to get their hopes up, only to have them dashed away.  On top of that, the orphanage not giving them another chance at a family.

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