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Saturday, December 13, 2014

New Book: Adoption Nation

On vacation, I started reading Adoption Nation by Adam Pertman.  It has been an interesting book.  It breaks down the history of adoption and gives interesting information.  I know this is not much, but I am only two chapters in.  I will update as I can form a better opinion.  So far, so good.

I just finished a chapter that dealt with the skyrocketing cost of adoption and domestic adoptions.  It explained laws from the states and how they vary.  It also went into adoption from the birth mothers.  The laws in the states vary for a mother changing her mind and what a family can pay for.  Mainly they can pay for hospital stays and lodging.  The states do not want it to add up to buying a baby.  I think these kind of adoptions can leave a family open for fraud.  There laws do not seem to protect families from that.  It also mentioned father rights.

I have finally read about the international arena.  The next chapter deals with the rise of international adoption in many countries and the need for the Hague Convention.  At the time of writing, the Hague had been created, but the big countries had not signed on to it.  The Hague Convention was created to protect children from being kidnapped and sold illegally.  The US and China now have accepted it.  It has added some extra steps to the adoption process.  For the most part, I am all for it.  I would hate to adopt a child and then find out that they were taken from their family.  I want my girls to find their parents one day, if they can.

The next couple of chapters deal with more domestic issues.  There is a chapter about infertility and adoption.  Then there is a chapter about birth parents.  Over history, there was always a stigma placed on women who get pregnant without being married.  Those women fell victim to unscrupulous people that were not looking out for the interest of the women, but trying to get to child for adoption purposes.  Another chapter dealt with fathers of these women.  They were not always a part of these decisions.  These are all things we thought about when deciding between domestic and international adoption.

Chapter 6 goes into international adoption.  It talks about the fall of communism and the rush to adopt out children.  These are things we researched.  We tried to find out things that went along with adopting from other countries.  Why are children being abandoned?  What issues might be going on with parents that can be passed on to the children?  What kind of adoption structure exists?  China fit our needs.  Most of the children are abandoned due to the one child policy.  Alcoholism is not a big factor.  There policies are pretty much set in stone.  We did not have to worry about going over to China and having officials ask for more money or requiring us to come back.  The chapter also talks about information the agencies give about the children.  We have not had any real big surprises.  Issues that have come up should be expected.  These children have been in an orphanage.  They do not get attention round the clock.  There are a lot more kids then workers to hold them.  As they get older, they learn to survive.

One of the next chapters deals with special needs.  In addition to physical ailments, children that have not been adopted by a certain age are classified as special needs.  The author goes on to talk about adopting special needs in and out of country.  He even touches on a woman who has the same ailment as my wife.  This woman was able to adopt children.

The last two chapters were kind of a blur.  The author gives an explanation about the cost of adoption and what is causing it to increase.  He touches on adopting outside of ones race.  I can interject something that he did not.  When we were foster parents, we took in many different races of children.  We once had a child of American Indian descent.  She was taken from us with three days.  The reason is that the American Indians have a deal with the government that only American Indians can foster or/and adopt children from tribe members.  Another time, we took in some African American children.  We did not have any issue with it.  We may have even adopted one of them(they were sisters).  We had them for many months.  Near the end of the time they were with us, they started to get questioned and made fun of because they did not have African American parents.  Kids can be cruel.

One thing that he brings up that I liked was that insurance companies should offer some kind of coverage/subsidy for adoption.  As parents that can not conceive children, we are never going to need coverage for pregnancy.  Some companies do offer reimbursement.  Two of the companies I worked for had that option.  My current employer does not.

The author does bring up money near the end.  It can be both a help to the situation and it can be a hindrance.  It creates issues like only rich parents being able to adopt healthy babies, while poorer parents are pushed toward children with special needs.  I agree with that.  I do not know how they would fix the situation.  I also learned that selling children is only a misdemeanor in the US.  He talked about one guy who was caught doing so.  He got three years in prison.  This was because he committed fraud by lying to adoptive parents.

I found this book to be very insightful.  He touches on most of the things we have learned or thought over the processes we have been through.  It was great to see he was not preachy, like the last book I read.  Instead of trying to dissuade international adoption, he gives the reader things that they should be considering when going this route.

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