An Overworked System: Reasons why we do not Adopt In-Country

In the past, I have mentioned that we were foster parents.  Fostering can lead to adoption or so we thought.  We stayed in the system for about three or four years before deciding we could not continue doing this.  Kids come and go at all times of the day.  When you accept a child at 3 in the afternoon, they may not show until 1 in the morning.  That creates havoc with your next day, especially when both parents work.  

When it comes to the Department of Children and Families, they are overworked.  Most social workers have around 100 kids per person.  They have to keep tabs on their children.  Not only that, but they have more coming in everyday.  Then, there are court appearances, keeping up with the birth parents to make sure they are trying to get their children back, etc.  Believe me, these kids go back and forth.  Depending on their parents, they may play games with the system.  They will stay away for awhile and right before they terminate their rights, the parents return and claim that the worker is not assisting them.  Then, they will do some classes and then stop.  This can go back and forth for awhile.  Just think what kind of an effect this has on their children.  Mentally, it breaks them down.  The only fix is years of therapy.  

Like I have said in past posts, they will do whatever they have to to get a child placed in a foster home.  That is why foster parents need to come up with a list of questions to ask.  If you don't ask, they don't tell.  Once the child is in your house, it takes an act of God to get them to move the child.  We have even had to drop a child or two at DCF for issues that were too unstable for us to deal with.  

Looking at this, you might see why fostering is a challenge.  These same issues exist for adoptive parents.  Unless you have lots of money, you are not going to be adopting healthy babies.  Most of the kids are older.  A lot of them have been molested physically and/or mentally.  They will need therapy and possibly therapies.  Some will have illnesses they are born with or contracted from their situations.  Once they are your adoptive child, the parents have to find all the help that will be needed.  After you sign those papers, that child is yours.  The system that helped place that adoption is on to the next child.  They do not have many programs that assist with post adoption.